I'm one of those people who like to pick a word at the beginning of the year to live by.
For inspiration.
To help me with whatever seems to be the main thing going on in my life.
Last year I chose the word HOPE.
Jason and I had been struggling with wanting a baby and the roads being made available for it to actually happen. Hope is the very thing, we, I needed.
I cried a lot over it, but I tried to remember to have hope.
This year I'm picking ENDURANCE.
The reason I'm picking endurance is because I'm not going to lie, being a stepmom is HARD.
It just is.
There's no sugar coating it.
No matter who you are, how equipped you may think you are, there's nothing easy about it.
I may be biased but I'm a stepmom so here it is.
I make a daily choice to love another woman's kids every single day.
And heck yea, I got so incredibly lucky with Tucker and Auburn.
They are seriously the best.
It took them maybe 6 months to adjust to the fact that I was married to their dad but after that, there was no turning back.
They genuinely love me.
Some stepmoms never get that opportunity to have that type of relationship with their stepkids but I do.
Nonetheless, it's still hard.
Internally, every day is a battle.
Externally, there are people who deliberately try to make it harder to be a stepmom.
Then there are the kids, struggling with it themselves on a daily basis and the cold hard fact is, I'm not their mom.
I'm their dad's new wife.
And it's easy to be bitter about it all, the whole thing.
But what's the point?
I can't control what happened in the past, I can't control other people and how they treat me.
What I can control is myself.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you
select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If
you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind.
That's the only thing you should be trying to control.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
I can endure.
I can keep moving.
Not just stay here stagnant in my thoughts, brewing.
And with a baby on the way, it's important that I make that decision now.
It's especially important to me that I be the best mom and stepmom for my kids, all 3 of them.
So 2013, look out.
Me and endurance are coming at ya.
i love the idea of picking a word! get it, girl! 2013 is gonna be your year!
ReplyDeleteLOVE your word! Tears beautiful friend! Cheers to 2013 and meeting your BAMBINO! P.S. I canNOT for the life of me choose mine???
ReplyDeleteKristine from The Foley Fam {unedited} Blog
Love the single word idea! Resolutions are no fun. I could not imagine being a step mom..it takes such a special person to do that and accept the man or woman and all that they have (a past,kids, ex wife,etc.). I will tell you that I thank God for my step mother every single day and can't imagine a day without her! Keep your head up-I know your stepchildren probably feel the same!
ReplyDeleteHello dear happy new year, i am a new your FOLLOWER!I love your blog.. Do you want to follow me ? I WAITING U IN MY BLOG KISSESSSS <3 <3
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I love this post and I LOVE that you chose "endurance." It's perfect because life can throw anything at us, and no matter what, we need endurance to handle it. I love what you wrote about being a stepmom. I'm sure that it would be so hard, but you seem like you are an amazing one. Your step kids are so lucky to have you! I actually have a step mom too- and she isn't very close to us at all. I think she got overwhelmed by me and my three brothers (she never had kids of her own and was like 40 when she married my dad) and anyways...I think it was a hard transition for her. But you are awesome! The world needs more step moms like you. And your husband's kids look up to you more than you know! :)
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